Why a designer is not an accountant
A talented and highly paid designer from a large design studio, on condition of anonymity, explained how the profession of a designer differs from an accountant.
I envy the professional status of accountants. Their specialty is shrouded in awe-inspiring mystery, respectful reverence.
None of them would ever dream of such a picture.
A visitor comes to the accounting department:
– I was told that you are busy now, but I have a small question. But very urgent. I just have to issue the invoice.
– What kind of invoice? For what?
– For the reporting period. For a quarter. To the tax office.
– So this is the quarterly report!?!
– Yes, exactly! I confused it. In my head sits “How expensive it all!”, And that’s confused.
– Can you imagine how much work it is?
– Yes, I would have calculated it myself … But then it turned out that the financial year is ending … The inspection said that it was necessary for a specialist to draw up. In short, we must tomorrow. As a last resort, on Monday morning.
– No, It is Immpossible.
– Yes, everything is ready there. Checkout only. Take a look.
– What is it?
– I have a nephew, I asked him. A capable guy, champion of Moscow.
– Champion of WHAT?
– Moscow. Also on computers or programs, I don’t remember. So he sketched it.
– (looks at the papers) Do you actually keep financial records?
– Oh sure. Probably. I don’t know … (looks into the eyes) Why … no?
– (hands over the sheets) So, all this will not work.
– And I also have documentation (uploads)
– This is not enough, receipts and invoices are required.
– (points to the table) Well, you have so many things
– These are other people’s orders and accounts. And in general, your sums are much larger.
– Well, increase it somehow. On the computer. And from your accounts you can make a photocopier.
– It is unacceptable. The tax office will not work.
– Yes, you do it somehow, I don’t pretend…. And then I’ll try to come to an agreement. They are also specialists. The main thing is to pass it on time.
Some time later.
– Well, you said it was impossible. Everything is great. But there are moments. You open it, I’ll show it right on the screen. (sits down behind his back) Here – some bad amount. Petite.
– So what information was provided, such is the amount. There are no miracles.
– I understand, but this is an extremely important section, and the amount is bad. Let’s fix it somehow! Are we going to swap the terms?
– It will not change anything.
– Well, let’s try to calm me down. Yes-ah … Really the same amount … And if these terms are rearranged? The same … But these? Damn, again the same number … Excuse me for tormenting you, it’s just a very important part, one might say defining. I would like the amount to be good. BUT! Here’s another idea! What if the numbers are broken down into smaller parts?
– The amount will remain the same.
– You know better, but let’s try it once? Yes … you are right … You know, but let’s just throw this section to hell?
– I will be glad!
– Well! But now, since this is so, it is necessary to insert an estimate into this agreement, there are 40 positions, no more – otherwise it is somehow unconvincing …
– This is unnecessary, the total amount of the contract is enough.
– You understand, because so much work has been done, you have to somehow reflect it. No wonder they tried.
– (in a tinny voice) So, then …
– Here it is confusing: why are these numbers strange?
– And here’s the calculation, look. The laws of mathematics.
– I do not understand these accounting intricacies, I honestly admit. But the numbers look odd. It must be exchanged for others. Here and here.
– Do you understand that then the meaning of your report disappears altogether?
– Well, YOU see it, but for the majority it is so familiar, I judge by myself. Change it, no one will notice. By the way, my favorite number is 9. Try to use it as much as possible. But I hate the deuce, since high school. You may think that this is nonsense and arbitrariness, but a personal request – exclude it from everywhere.
– I hope you can now consider the work finished?
– Everything was done competently and accurately. Thanks! But somehow very unambiguous … Try to play with numbers again!